As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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