Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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