And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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