is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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