Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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