so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
