Dual....:-)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
