I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
