therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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