Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we're chasing vodka with high fives
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
