apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
