i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
