Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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