So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
