we're blogging at a bar
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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