we have pet lesbian snakes
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
