youre lurking in front of me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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