I'm lost and stupid without you.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
