You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
