I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
