as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
