We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
