it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
