are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
