This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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