she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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