i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
