The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
