3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
