So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
