So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
