Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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