covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just pynch a tree in the face
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
