Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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