so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
