Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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