Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
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I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
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sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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