This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
