So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
