I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
4 words: hood of his car
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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