hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
