The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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