Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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