Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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