So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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