the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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