You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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