That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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