i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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