so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
