Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
