she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
