He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
