Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
