I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize