put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
