David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
