never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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