They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
